im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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