I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
