Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
