If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So much rum. So many feels.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
