you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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