I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
