i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
