She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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