i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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