You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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