Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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