yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
