just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
