I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
