That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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