He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
