You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
