And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize