At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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