just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
