So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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