Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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