i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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