Need sex. Gaining weight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
