well you can't waste a boner
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
