The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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