I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
