i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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