the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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