She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
