The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
