I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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