So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
