dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
