great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Randomize
