She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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