Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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