I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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