I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
