I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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