i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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