...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
