she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize