i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize