I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
