My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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