She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This baby is an asshole
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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