I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
