Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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