i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
