He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
