Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
