You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize