she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
we're so committed to being not committed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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