he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
