he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
